Why Are Women Crazy, Difficult, Complicated, etc.?

For some reason I tend to have more male friends than female friends. While this has allowed me to find out what men do when women aren't around (they, for better or worse, typically think of me as a guy), it has more importantly allowed me to explain to heterosexual men the answer to their most common question: "Why do women act so crazy?"

Hormones: Sex and Mental Instability

Hormones are the basis of moods in women. They can affect everything from hunger and sleep to ambition and mood

Menstrual cycles mean that we can have a different mood every week during a predictable cycle: pre-menstrual period, during the menstrual period, post-menstrual period, and ovulation.

Pregnancy is a much more complicated version of the hormone game. During pregnancy, a woman's hormones may turn off her libido and throw her into a state of constant irritation, or they might give her abundant energy and leave her craving sex during every waking moment.

There are probably evolutionary reasons why our moods change based on our menstrual cycle. For example, many women become sexually aroused more easily during the week of ovulation, the week when we are most likely to conceive a pregnancy. And many women tend to feel defensive after the birth of their baby, the time when they most need to focus on protecting their new child.

Insecurity: Fear of Loss / Fear of Failure

Many women are insecure about everything. Many of us have a constant underlying worry that the men we love are going to leave us, others are judging us, the bills won't get paid, or we'll screw up our kids. Much or our insecurities come from the way we were raised and programmed by our parents, teachers, peers, and society.

A quick way for men to deal with insecure women is to learn a few important phrases. "You're so beautiful." "We'll work this out (or do this) together." And, "It is (or will be) all right."

The biggest problem with insecurity is that it leads to overthinking.

Overthinking: But Why? But How? But What If?

Women tend to overthink more than men do. When women overthink, they ruminate, sometimes for days (or even years in some situations). They repeatedly judge and analyze their actions as well as the behaviors of others and try to figure out if they are fitting in socially, fulfilling their obligations, or adequately following their dreams. Women will even think about thinking: Why do I think/feel this way, how can I change it, and when will it change?

If you go on a date with a woman, there's a very good chance that she will spend the next week wondering why you wanted to date her, why she wants to date you, how she performed on the date, what she did wrong, what she should do better, and how you responded. And if you don't call the next day, she'll spend at least a few days ruminating about that too.

If you have an argument with a woman, she'll likely ask you hundreds of questions, some of which may not be connected to the current argument, to get to the root of the problem and satisfy her insecurity.

Overthinking all comes down to two basic questions: Am I all right, and how can I be better?

There may be an evolutionary component to this strange psychological practice. Women have long been tasked with holding the community together while men went out to hunt, work, etc. A strong, protective community was essential for successfully raising children, especially when wild animals lurked about in the jungle or when disaster struck. So women needed to be concerned about how everyone felt and how everything operated, and each woman needed to do her part to ensure all the pieces of the social puzzle stayed in place. Now, when anything seems out of place, we continue to ask ourselves, what have I done, or not done, to contribute to the problem?

The problem with overthinking is that it causes anxiety, which leads to desperate behaviors, pessimism, frequent mind-changing, and depression.

But Remember...

Not all women are crazy. And not all men are sane and logical. We just need to focus more on learning how each other ticks, so we can work together, rather than fighting and judging each other for our differences.