Define Commitment

Most young girls want the wedding of their dreams without much thought of what comes after the ceremony. After all, bedtime stories always end with, “…and they lived happily ever after.” What startles me most is how many believe marriage is the definition of love. You have people on one side who are single who can’t wait to get married. Then you have people who are married, who wish they were single.

The object lesson to be learn is that love is not a contract. Sure, there are many pros and cons to marriage. For those who take vows seriously, it is not to be entered into lightly. A contract does not promise fidelity or happiness. One hopes that both parties enter into marriage with good intentions and unconditional acceptance of each other. The problem is that we are human and are flawed creatures.

There was a woman who was threatening to walk away from her four-year engagement because her fiancée stated truthfully that he was not ready to get married. Honestly, he shared a number of reservations with her. Instead of looking at why he was not willing to commit to her through marriage, she became defensive. Now, I won’t go into what his reservations were, but they were all valid reasons. Rather, what I saw was the sign of an individual who wants to ensure a solid foundation before he makes a commitment. She didn’t see it that way.

She was offended by his caution and seemed unwilling to exercise patience. It is never a good idea to force a hand to act. You may wind up regretting the haste of your actions, no matter what those decisions may be. It is better to be ready for a life commitment rather than to enter it through coercion. There is truth to the statement that you don’t know what the future holds. However, you can’t ignore patterns of current behavior which contribute to your tomorrows.

What is more important? A piece of paper or the relationship? After all…love stays.